What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.
And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”
When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.
My boyfriend’s ex is actually crazy… Or maybe has trouble with reality. To be fair though, he never called her crazy; I did. Because she is.
She threatened him with legal action for no reason. He ignored her. She then asked him to help her install Photoshop. He ignored her. And blocked her number. Then she called him again from an unblocked number that he didn’t recognize. She asked him to help her pick out a new laptop and to watch her dog. He said no. And blocked the number.
He and I have been together for a year. I think someone who can’t get that through her head is crazy. Some girls are legit crazy.