What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.
And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”
When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.
My boyfriend’s ex is actually crazy… Or maybe has trouble with reality. To be fair though, he never called her crazy; I did. Because she is.
She threatened him with legal action for no reason. He ignored her. She then asked him to help her install Photoshop. He ignored her. And blocked her number. Then she called him again from an unblocked number that he didn’t recognize. She asked him to help her pick out a new laptop and to watch her dog. He said no. And blocked the number.
He and I have been together for a year. I think someone who can’t get that through her head is crazy. Some girls are legit crazy.
“It’s still National Library Week. You should be especially nice to a librarian today, or tomorrow. Sometime this week, anyway. Probably the librarians would like tea. Or chocolates. Or a reliable source of funding.”—Neil Gaiman (via ala-con)
N:I fucking forgot my fucking PIN and the barber shop I wanted to go to doesn't take goddamn credit cards so I have to get cash....bullshit....I am pissed. I am....*deep breath*....I am unreasonably pissed. The level of pissed that I am is inappropriate for the situation.
S:You live there.
N:But I am going to breathe deeply, collect some cash, and go back to get a haircut. Here I go.
M:Can we get a round of applause for Em NOT saying something like "I've been there but when I was there everybody assumed it had to do with a monthly chemical and hormonal imbalance and also the patriarchy and oppression?"
[MARILLA’s neighbor RACHEL LYNDE comes to call] RACHEL: Well, Marilla I can’t say I think she looks like much, but you always did know your own mind ANNE[lights a cigarette]: funny i don’t recall asking you what you thought about a fucking thing
I started binge watching The Mentalist. It’s actually a really smart show. This might spoil it for some of you who haven’t seen it and want to start. Or are watching slower than I am. So maybe stop reading now.
My favorite part is how they use Tyger, Tyger by William Blake as a running theme throughout the series. Other William Blake poetry also appears to show a connection between people and events in the show. It’s actually pretty interesting. You have to have some knowledge of literature in order to get it. I mean, you could google… But that isn’t as fun… I also enjoy being “in” on something. I think it stems from my days on the quiz bowl team and the high value of obscure knowledge in that activity. It was awesome. Old habits die hard.