Postcards from Far Away

Last week, a student asked if I would look over her essay for another class, and I agreed. Why not? I have time, and I am always happy to help a student if I can.

So she emailed the essay to me, and I went over it, made some changes in Word, and sent the essay back.

You guys, today she gave me chocolate to say thank you for reading her essay. It was awesome.

Obviously, I didn’t do it with the intention of getting chocolate, but it’s always nice when someone shows appreciation for something you’ve done for them. :)

And it’s legit chocolate, too: Lindt.

Though, I haven’t ever really had any bad chocolate in Germany. (Yes, I know Lindt is Swiss.)

My plans for the day/weekend are as follows:

1. Make breakfast with my friend and her friend.
2. Plan for my class on Monday.
3. Read for the classes that I’m taking.
4. Try to figure out what we’ll end up doing if German Sister comes to visit on Tuesday.
5. Stop reading old blog entries; I only feel sad when I read them.
6. Make a list of things I need to buy when I get my next pay check. Here’s a draft of my list: a printer (maybe); a bookshelf; and a drying rack for my laundry (Dryers in Germany are uncommon, especially in a student apartment).

I just finished watching “Six Feet Under” today, and it was one of the most fabulous series finales that I’ve ever watched. Instead of just leaving us hanging (*ahem* The Sopranos), they did a really great montage of the rest of the characters’ lives as one of the main characters was driving across the country to New York from California.

And of course I cried. That show was fabulous, and it was pretty awesome to see another facet of Michael C. Hall’s (Dexter) acting. 

First, I finally figured out how to work my heater. My room was getting pretty chilly, and I have to say that it’s very nice to have it working. And you know, I am grateful for my heat. I know there are people who cannot afford to adequately heat their homes, and I have actually experienced that before.

We kept the thermostat as low as we could (basically just warm enough to keep the pipes from freezing), and my mom warmed up the house in the morning with the oven. We had a fireplace that kept us warm in the evening in the living room. I am always grateful to have a warm place to live and sleep.

Next, I’ve been meeting a lot of new friends in my classes and even in my lectures.

Speaking of lectures, I’m glad to have something to keep me busy now, even if I have HUGE gaps of free time in my day. That sounds really nice, but I’m going to have to keep on top of myself and keep going to class even when I don’t want to and think I can get away with it because attendance in lectures is, of course, not mandatory.

My job is keeping me busy, so those large gaps in my day will actually be pretty helpful, and I might actually try to stay on campus on some of those days to work on my stuff for my job so that I don’t get distracted at home. We’ll see. (Speaking of job: I can’t access my work email right now, but luckily, most of the communication between the instructors takes place in my personal email.)

So I feel a little better than I did a couple of days ago, and I got a really funny postcard from German Mom. I hope that I get to see her again soon. I do have to go to the doctor down in Ludwigshafen, so maybe I can schedule the appointment on a day that she has time to meet, too.

But also, a few days ago, I was kind of upset about a boy… :( Lame, I know, but I really liked him, and I’m sad it didn’t work out how I’d hoped, and I kind of feel stupid for giving him space to get over his last relationship before he met me because he met another girl in between, and he’s now in a relationship with her. I guess that’s what happens sometimes. It’s not worth it to keep thinking about it, and so I’m going to let him go and not waste time on it.

I don’t have to go to class again until 6pm, so I’ll have time to work on my stuff for my job and maybe be able to enjoy my weekend. Yeah. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my weekend.

I’m sitting here, being all weepy the night before my first lecture at the uni. You know, the first lecture for the degree program that I applied for and got a place in. Yeah. That one.

I have just exactly what I worked for and wanted for the last three years, and I’m sad. Tonight, I just want to be in Ludwigshafen thinking about what kind of bullshit I’ll have to put up with at school the next day. Why do I want this? I guess because things with my sister are not great, and I’m really, really feeling it right now. Ludwigshafen is my German home, and when things are going poorly, sometimes you just want to be at home. I want so much for Mainz to become my home, but I’m not there yet.

I have no idea why I want to be back at school. There were so many stressful situations, but there was never a day that I woke up thinking that I didn’t want to go to work. I never dreaded going. I never knew what I was going to have to deal with, but I always laughed at least once a day, and I knew that I had a place to go and that (some) people were happy to see me every day.

If I’d stayed, I wouldn’t have gotten any better at teaching or any better as a person. I would have stayed the same. I needed to move on to grow, and I guess I’m just having grown up growing pains.

I think this is especially hard because of what’s going on at home, and I am way outside of my comfort zone on this one.

I’m mad at myself for missing Ludwigshafen. I’m really mad at myself for missing Ludwigshafen. Maybe I miss the people more than I miss the city.

Plan of action? Lay here and listen to Coldplay because that’s all I can stand to listen to these days.

I’m pretty sure I like Coldplay more than is normal…

I am having one (a few) of those weeks where my sister being sick is really getting to me. It’ll eventually go to the back of my mind again, but for now, it’s here. :(

I’m proficient in English. Yay!

And I’m now a legal resident of Germany instead of just a tourist. BAM!

I also look super unhappy in my visa picture, but I look happier than in my actual passport picture. Germany also has my fingerprints. Oh boy.

To the Ausländeramt I go.

Things that freak me out: German bureaucracy and official things that affect my status in this country. :\ It’ll be fine.

There is probably one person who follows my Tumblr who will understand this.

The main point is that I am really becoming proficient at making guacamole.

Side note: Today, I was at a “orientation” for my new Uni, and I, a native speaker of English, have to take a English proficiency test because “citizenship does not prove proficiency. Your could be American but have Spanish as your native language.” Fair enough, but SRSLY??

So I’m going to eat some of my awesome guac and relax before my appointment to get my visa, which I hope goes well.