Postcards from Far Away

The Tangential: What You Really Mean When You Say “I’m Staying in Tonight”

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 14:03:38 -0400

The Tangential: What You Really Mean When You Say “I’m Staying in Tonight”:

-Invite me 3 more times, more creatively, because I don’t exactly feel like part of your friend group and I need reassurance that you like me. How about a drunken, affectionate phone call and a text from one other person in your group?

-I’m extremely introverted and my week of sitting in the…

dailyotter: Virginia Aquarium Takes in Abandoned Otter...

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 11:43:56 -0400

dailyotter:

Virginia Aquarium Takes in Abandoned Otter Pup!

Help name him here! Via

blackkolors replied to your post: Well, This is a First Awwww. :/ I hope I’ll see you there so I can...

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 03:48:16 -0400

blackkolors replied to your post: Well, This is a First

Awwww. :/ I hope I’ll see you there so I can say hi. I understand how you feel, too… sometimes it’s weird to go back to a place when you thought you would be done with it.

I hope so, too. I’ll be there for sixth hour. Maybe I can stop by the MSS Zimmer on my way out. I want to catch up with Frau M. for a bit. Might be going out with a some people for beverages after, too. At least you’re in the Pause right now so I don’t feel so bad for replying to your message while you’re at school… GO TO CLASS!

I’ll PM you my cell number so you can text me if you have time to meet up, and I’ll let you know where we’re at or what’s up at least.

Well, This is a First

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 02:49:00 -0400

This is the first time I’ve woken up since I moved to Germany and started working at my (now former) school and thought, “I really do not want to go to school today.”

I promised I would go, so I am going to go, but it’s finally become burdensome to go there. It takes me nearly two hours to get to the school. German Mom isn’t even going to be there, and no offense to everyone I love there, but I just don’t feel like it’s worth it to go if I’m not going to see her. It’s complicated.

I’m having such a hard time with this. The life I had there is over, and I can feel myself letting go, but there is a part of me that is just not ready. It doesn’t mean giving up the relationships; it just means a change. Here comes the “grind it until you find it” part of this whole transition.

I’ll be glad when the current assistant is gone, and I don’t have to hear about what happens at school all the time from her. I mean, someone broke a bone and is out on long-term sick leave, but she doesn’t know who it is, and when I found that out, I panicked. I know it’s not German Mom; I would have heard about that. I guess I’ll get to find out about that today.

Yep, ambivalence and grind it until you find it.

I’m pretty sure that my chest pains and dizziness and weight loss are related to this liminal phase in my life.

Also, I’ve watched the most recent episode of Mad Men three times now, and I honestly cannot believe it happened.

tvdotcom: Mad Men’s “The Other Woman,” Deconstructing Don and...

Thu, 31 May 2012 15:17:09 -0400

tvdotcom:

Mad Men’s “The Other Woman,” Deconstructing Don and Peggy’s Big Scene

explodingdog: Moments like this never last New drawings from...

Thu, 31 May 2012 12:28:16 -0400

explodingdog:

Moments like this never last

New drawings from titles submitted via twitter.

Holidays

Thu, 31 May 2012 06:02:19 -0400

There are tons of German holidays in May and June; most of them are religious holidays, and since I live in a predominantly Catholic state, I get the day off school and everything useful is closed, so I can’t run any errands even though I have the day off. Though, if I need something important, I can always take a train across the river to pick something up at the grocery store because the state across the river doesn’t celebrate most of the religious holidays.

Holidays tend to disrupt my concept of time. For example, Monday was a holiday, and I spent the holiday weekend doing all sorts of fun things. My friend stayed the night and left on Monday. Tuesday, I went down to see her for quiz night and spent the night. I was there for more than 24 hours, and it’s already Thursday, and my weekend starts soon, and I have no idea how the week went so quickly.

Time is flying by.

At least I managed to get some really, really important things done today. In other news, I probably have not drunk about an entire bottle of wine and some Bailey’s last night before leaving for Mainz from LU at 11pm when I had class at 8:30am today. It was a rough morning. Especially since I didn’t have any time for coffee before class this morning. It was sad. Now it’s better. Maybe I need more coffee.

"Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or..."

Thu, 31 May 2012 05:40:33 -0400

““Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation. If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.””

- EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS.

Depression is not a synonym for being sad or having a bad day/bad week.

(via finncrestas)

The next person who tells me that I can choose how I feel gets punched.

(via soidreamtiwasastarfleetcommander)

Important.

(via iamlittlei)

"One repays a teacher badly if one remains only a pupil."

Thu, 31 May 2012 05:38:50 -0400

“One repays a teacher badly if one remains only a pupil.”

- Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, quoted by Jung to Freud (via psychotherapy)

I give...

Wed, 30 May 2012 17:04:19 -0400

…zero fucks.

Wednesday

Wed, 30 May 2012 13:09:27 -0400

Getting drunk in my old apartment FTW.

hungoverowls: “I don’t know where we are, but I think we should...

Wed, 30 May 2012 13:07:57 -0400

hungoverowls:

“I don’t know where we are, but I think we should leave. I don’t know where we should go, but we need to be there.”

I feel like I got a lot done and nothing done all at the same time today. How is that possible? Pub...

Tue, 29 May 2012 07:45:00 -0400

I feel like I got a lot done and nothing done all at the same time today. How is that possible?

Pub quiz tonight. Appointment tomorrow. Just like every week. I hate my history class. I didn’t read for it. Screw it.

Last night’s Mad Men absolutely broke my heart and made me sick. And made me smirk at the very end. I’m still thinking about it and trying to process it. I don’t think any other show has ever had this effect on me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so attached to a group of characters before. This is a new feeling for me. I just keep thinking, “How could they do that to Joan? How could Joan do that to herself?” and “Oh my God, Don, you lost Peggy. Peggy, what are you doing? Good for you, Peggy.” Also: “Lane, you’re screwed.” But Joan. That was just something else. So many emotions. So little time.

Photo

Tue, 29 May 2012 07:44:14 -0400

lulz-time: Follow this blog, you will love it on your...

Tue, 29 May 2012 06:31:50 -0400

lulz-time:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

This is how I feel about going to my history class today - and every day.

Re-watch

Mon, 28 May 2012 16:54:47 -0400

I’m watching last night’s Mad Men episode again.

I think it’s the best one so far.

bundesmutti: Mutti has a sad. Because of stupid Greece.

Mon, 28 May 2012 15:14:22 -0400

bundesmutti:

Mutti has a sad. Because of stupid Greece.

madmendaily: Don’t be a stranger. TEARS. THIS EPISODE. But...

Mon, 28 May 2012 15:13:24 -0400

madmendaily:

Don’t be a stranger.

TEARS.

THIS EPISODE. But the end was perfect.

OH. MY. GOD. Mad Men.

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:33:51 -0400

I just watch the latest episode, and it was the first time that show has ever made me cry. Just. Argh. What? And then at the very end, I smiled.

Well done, Matt Weiner. Well done.

dailyotter: Otter and Hoomin Touch Paws Via Das Otterhaus

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:27:59 -0400

dailyotter:

Otter and Hoomin Touch Paws

Via Das Otterhaus